


purge the past ; we're here at last

by itisjosh



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Best Friends, Enemies to Friends, Fluff, Forgiveness, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Light Angst, Presumed Dead, Reunions, Wakes & Funerals, clingytwt i am with you and i am sorry, have this to ease the pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:54:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28120473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itisjosh/pseuds/itisjosh
Summary: He's always stuck out from the crowd, what, with his brightly coloured shirt and even brighter smile.Tommy has always been a flower in the midst of a field of grey, and Tubbo has never once overlooked him."Tommy?"
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 37
Kudos: 497





	purge the past ; we're here at last

Tubbo stands above New L'manberg, staring at the dull colours that line the streets. Flowers that were once blue have faded away into grey nothingness, blurring into the crowd. No one is wearing a singular strip of colour - they're all dressed in greys and blacks. Tubbo shifts uncomfortably in his brightly coloured button-up, wishing that it was more washed out. He didn't have anything else to wear. He didn't want to wear his suit, he never wants to put that on again. Tommy would understand. Surely, he would understand. He always understood. Eventually, he would always figure out why. If he had just given Tubbo a little more time, Tubbo could have brought him back. 

He should have never exiled his best friend in the first place. But he had to, it was what was best for New L'manberg! He had to, or else every single thing he had fought for would be obsolete, and he thought that Tommy understood. It wasn't like it was going to be forever. Tubbo would never keep Tommy out for forever. He just needed a little more time to solve the conflict with Dream, and then Tommy could come back home. Tubbo just needed a little more time. 

But Tommy has never bothered to wait for anyone other than himself. He was always so impulsive and uncontrollable, a wild card in the worst of times. An arrogant, cocky kid with a heart of gold. He always would light up rooms with that smile of his, his natural charm coming off of him in waves. Tommy was his opposite, his foil. Whenever Tubbo was calm, Tommy wasn't. Tubbo could learn from his mistakes and move on, and Tommy just kept repeating them until it eventually worked out for him. Tubbo loved him. Tubbo loves him. 

Tubbo will never stop loving him. 

Guilt and pain and rage crash into him all at once, swirling around his head with reckless abandon. He's so tired. He's unbelievably tired. Tubbo doesn't know what he expected when he went to Logstedshire, but he knows that he didn't expect that. He didn't think that he'd see a tower so high that it disappeared into the clouds. He didn't think that the entire place would be completely obliterated, eerily similar to the ruins of L'manberg after Wilbur disappeared from their line of sight. Tubbo blames himself for that. He shouldn't have ever taken his eyes off of Wilbur. He should have never looked away, he shouldn't have let the power and pride get to his head. 

Tommy was the one who was supposed to be prideful, he had enough pride for the both of them. Tubbo shouldn't have drank in all the pride that radiated off of his people. He should have stayed nervous and careful, he should have been quiet and played it safe. He was so confident that they had finally won, and being confident got him nowhere. All it gave him was a broken country, a broken best friend, and one life left. Tubbo snorts, staring down at the streets. It's raining, which is unbelievably fitting. Tommy wouldn't have stopped complaining if he was here. He never liked the rain, not very much. Tubbo did, he always loved the way it sounded against windows and rooftops. Now, however, he feels annoyance pooling in his stomach as the rain hammers the overhanging roof. He wishes that it would stop. 

Tubbo watches as Wilbur hovers above Tommy's casket, his hands set gently on the cover. Tubbo had Phil and Niki design it. It's mahogany, with golden arches, wings, and little patterns and designs skewed about. Tubbo doesn't understand a lot of what the symbols mean, but he trusts that Tommy's dad didn't decide to turn it into something terrible and misleading. He trusts Phil well enough, even after all that's happened. Is trust really the right word? Tubbo doesn't trust anyone. He can't trust anyone, not anymore. He should have learnt that the day Wilbur betrayed him. 

He watches as the crowd moves to give their goodbyes, Fundy and Eret appearing with their arms linked together. Niki trails behind, sobbing on Puffy's shoulder. Techno stands guard at the front of the graveyard, back straight and his entire body stiff. Tubbo wasn't going to make Techno sit this out. Tommy was his little brother, after all. He can see George and Sapnap lingering at the edges of the graveyard, looking uncomfortable and stiff. The only person Tubbo refused to let in was Dream, who would be shot on sight if he saw him. Tubbo feels his stomach churn with fury, gritting his teeth as he visualises the green bastard's mask. He's going to kill Dream. Just..not right now. Not until Tommy's death isn't as fresh. 

Tubbo scans the crowd again, careful to make sure that there's no sign of the smiling mask that he hates. 

And then he sees messy blonde hair. 

He's always stuck out from the crowd, what, with his brightly coloured shirt and even brighter smile. Tommy has always been a flower in the midst of a field of grey, and Tubbo has never once overlooked him. No one could ever overlook Tommy, even if they tried. He's too difficult and special to forget about. 

"Tommy?" Tubbo whispers, his voice shaking and shattering on the word. He watches as people turn to look up at him, watches as they follow his gaze. He watches as their eyes land on Tommy, and then he hears the shouting and crying and laughter. 

But Tommy isn't looking at any of them.

He's looking right at Tubbo. 

Tommy stares up at him, his shirt bleached, the red sleeves standing out even more. He's the singular strip of colour in the world of grey, and..he's smiling. He's smiling, his eyes glinting in the early sun's light. Tommy's smile turns into a grin, his eyes crinkling at the sides. He spreads open his arms, holding them as far as they'll go. Tubbo watches his lips move, watches as words form on Tommy's tongue. 

_Come here, big man._

And so Tubbo does. 

He screams Tommy's name as he races down from the top of New L'manberg, shoving past stalls and fences, tripping over his feet as he scrambles to get to his best friend. The wind threatens to choke him, seizing up his throat, the cold strangling him as he runs. He feels the air flee from his lungs when he crashes straight into Tommy, wrapping his arms around his best friend as tightly as he can. "Tommy!" Tubbo sobs, not sure if the tears are out of guilt or happiness. Both, he decides. "I thought- I thought.."

"You thought wrong, big man," Tommy murmurs into the side of his neck, holding him even closer. Tubbo listens to his heart, his listens to the way it beats. Tommy is alive. he's warm and he's breathing and his heart is beating and he's so, so _alive_. "Tubbo, you- you gotta _breathe_ , big man," Tommy laughs, and Tubbo feels himself choke on a sob, tears streaming even faster down his face. The laugh isn't forced at all. He's genuine. He's genuine, he's happy, he's happy, _he's alive_. "Tubbo-"

"I'm so sorry," Tubbo cries, his nails digging into Tommy's back. He knows that he shouldn't, that it has to hurt, but he can't, he can't stop. He can't let go, or else Tommy is going to disappear. "I'm _so sorry_."

"Shut up," Tommy laughs again, resting his head on top of Tubbo's. "I know why you did it. It's okay," he murmurs, his voice gentle and soft. Tubbo can barely hear it, but he still can. The pride and confidence that lurks underneath his tone. His words are laced in honey, and they would be sweet enough to fool anyone else. Tubbo isn't anyone else. Tommy is still himself, he's still Tommy. He hasn't changed a bit. "Tubbo. Why are you hosting my funeral?"

"I thought.." Tubbo ducks his head, a grin forcing its way onto his face without his consent. Tommy's face is so full of life and colour, his eyes twinkling and shining and reflecting, and..and..he's alive. "You're dramatic." Tubbo whispers, not sure what else to say. Tommy tilts his head back, a fit of laughter taking over him. 

"Yeah, a little," he admits when he recovers, leveling Tubbo with another soft stare. "Well, big man," he smiles. "You and I against the world, right?" 

"You and I against the world," Tubbo echoes, taking Tommy's hands in his own. "I remember what we're fighting for." 

"You never forgot," Tommy tells him. "You just got distracted. You ready to get our discs back?" 

Tubbo nods once, determination filling his chest. He grins at his best friend, squeezing Tommy's hands. "Always. I'll stick with you until the end of time, Tommy." Tommy grins back at him, his eyes warmer than Tubbo's ever seen them.

"For you, Tubbo?" Tommy levels him with the softest smile Tubbo has ever seen. "The world."

"For you, Tommy?" Tubbo looks back at him, wiping away a stray tear. "The universe."


End file.
